Back to Reality

On Friday I came back from a 5 day cruise with my girlfriends in the Caribbean. It was a completely relaxing and wonderful time, and I was enjoying my vacation buzz on the way home from the airport. As I walked in the door though, i immediately felt the tell-tale signs of anxiety raise within me. It didn't make sense, I'd been home for 5 minutes and was on a serious vacation high. I tried to brush it off, but what I ended up brushing was cat fur, off the sofa I wanted to sit on. I got up to get a snack, and noticed some mouse poop on the floor, mice that the cat is responsible for (at least partially because of his food) -- and can't even get rid of. And a smell.

Every house has a smell, some are stronger than others, but when you've been away for a while, you can sorta smell your smell. And mine smelled like cat. Everything cat. Cat food, cat pee, just ugh. Grossness. My relaxation bubble popped before I even unpacked.

This morning I went for a run and pondered how this cat has so much control over me. Why does he bother me so much? How does he have a way of raising my blood pressure in a way that it has never risen around anything else before? I'm not an angry person, but I feel incredible anger towards this cat. I'll ignore it, or the annoyances will die down, but I swear, I'm losing atleast a couple months off my life from the stress he causes me. My blood pressure rises at the sight or smell of him. Then it struck me, if I could afford it, I would go to therapy. Maybe theres a latent anger I never dealt with that he's bringing out in me.

I can't afford therapy so I decided to administer some self therapy. I tried to think of the top things it was about him that bother me. This is what I came up with:

His unruly mane that sheds EVERYWHERE.
His constant smell of alley, waste and just cat.
His habit of peeing in random corners every couple weeks. (Which contributes to the smell)
The fact that he scratches me on a regular basis.
When his shedding gets really crazy, I get allergic and have trouble breathing.

When I looked at it that way, it seemed pretty easy to hate him. After some introspection, I realized none of those things really sound like I have a problem. But maybe I could come up with a couple solutions? Maybe my avoidance of solutions have something to do with my subconscious? I thought of three things: Improving his hygiene (regular nail trims, brushing, and if possible baths). Keeping the house immaculate at all times to detect peeing and prevent it. Taking allergy pills year-long -- so that I can brush and bath him without irritation.

I don't think I can do all of that, but I'll try to keep the floors cleaner and enlist my roommate -- who owns the darn thing -- to help. And who knows, if I'm feeling crazy I'll brush him a couple times a week. It's still up to my roomie to trim his nails, but those little things might help make him a little less gross.

I'm also investing in air freshener.